the beat goes on!
This working week has been a proper rollercoaster.
It started with me feeling really let down and crestfallen as early as Monday due to what appeared to be a little problem that quickly snowballed into a humongous cluster of shit.
I instantly started to work on solutions and alternatives, but as soon as I thought of one option, another hurdle came to mind, and then another, and another… so I ended up feeling pretty pissed off: no matter what I do, this small issue really cannot be solved, at least not in a manner that wouldn’t require mass layoffs, intense re-training and heavy monitoring.
I won’t go into too much detail about it—let’s just say that there’s a disgraceful lack of commitment in people that should take their job (and that of others, for that matter) more seriously. It’s because of this that, in spite of the best of my intentions, there is nothing I can do to improve the situation in a true, impactful manner.
So I asked myself, “What’s the fucking point?” Why should I work as hard as I do, why should I do my best if in the end somebody else’s shitty attitude towards work is going to spoil things for everybody? And what can I possibly do to change that? Nothing. The only solution I can think of is getting rid of those people who don’t give a fuck and think they’re doing more than enough by sitting in front of their computers for eight hours a day trafficking emails. Sadly, we all know I don’t have that kind of power. Oooh, how I wish I had! The office would be bloody deserted… and I would have tumbleweeds for colleagues, which in some days is a much better prospect than having to work with people. Which is pathetic, to say the least.
So I went home at the end of a long, tiring day and cried a little—yes, the sense of powerlessness and defeat was that strong and irrepressible. Ross comforted and encouraged me to keep at it, and did his best to make me feel better by means of some chocolate chip brioche and some pampering. It worked; i did feel better. Until the next working day.
To cut a long story short, I, once more, had to do stuff that has nothing to do with my day-to-day tasks, my department or my job title. Why? Because if I don’t do it no one will, and if they do, they’ll do it wrong. Horribly wrong.
The funny thing is that even though I was not at all happy having to take on somebody else’s duties, eventually I was well chuffed with the fact that 90% of my input made the final cut and will be shared with our client. So yay for me.
Then Friday came along. And you know what? I had a GREAT Friday. I had the chance to work with a German colleague on a quality control project, and I had a great time. Yes, I know, how can anyone have a blast when working on linguistic quality control? Well, I did. This girl is fantastic—exactly the kind of person we need more of in this bloody office—, and I think she enjoyed working with me too. And not only was the collaboration fun and smooth, we did a superb job together.
I also had a quick informal meeting with a Reebok colleague, and I was soooo happy to be able to deal with someone who can think and digest things, not just go through the motions and simply forward emails—a fucking monkey can be taught to forward emails, for fuck’s sake! We need people who can use the grey matter in their brains and process, decide, propose and take action. Well, this particular colleague of mine does just that, and I truly love working with her. Not only is she super smart, she’s fucking cool and lovely, which makes things even better.
To top it all off, I managed to tick a hell of a lot of tasks off my to-do list. For a couple of weeks now I’ve started (and completed) a few little projects of my own, things that are needed even though no one has voiced this openly. This makes me happy, as I often think I lack initiative, so completing a few things, however minor, is kinda rewarding. I even managed to give my teammates a hand with some of their own projects too, so hooray for efficiency and time management.
Finally, I had a catch-up call with my boss (who is ill, so he’s working from home), and he didn’t say it, but I could tell he was quite pleased with what I’ve been working on lately.
I still think the issue my week started with will not be solved, and whatever I do, things in this particular situation won’t improve significantly. This disappoints me deeply.
But I ended my week feeling quite exhilarated—a few things went really well, and I felt a lot of pride and satisfaction in what I do. A proper boost, today was.
You win some, you lose some, I guess.